Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life?

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.