The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.

It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.